Hello everybody.
I have not blogged since May last year and since it's the beginning of the dragon year and almost one month into January, I feel obliged to share with you my thoughts.
Back in December last year, my uncle and his family who emigrated to Wellington, New Zealand some six years ago came back to spend their summer vacation.
We had a few gatherings, honest conversations and what really struck me was, they are leading a totally different lifestyle as compared to us living in Singapore. For instance, they will go horse-riding at a ranch during the weekends. But what we usually do in Singapore is to have our eyes glued to our smart phones, our computers, catching the latest episodes of dramas, or meet up with our friends, visit our grandparents. In short, we're living the city life, while they lead a really sub-urban, country life. All I can say is, they are living in a different world.
They may appear to be concerned about what has been happening in Singapore, like how's my grandmother's health. But what can they do? If something happens, will they be in time to come back to help? Or will they prefer not to come back?
What happened recently has made me lose faith in some extended family members. Some people are just plain selfish when it comes to helping out and it frustrates me.
I am not sure if I should share this here. But my grandmother was recently diagnosed with dementia. As time goes by, she may lose all her recent memory, maybe in a few years time, she wouldn't be able to recognise her family members anymore. This is so so so sad if you think about it. So I think as family members we should spend more time with her. What worsens the situation is that she stays alone. Sometimes she forgets to take her medicine, very frequently, she will not remember to have her meals. My mum is so afraid that someday, she may just be one of those missing elderly on facebook. She just started her rehab treatment today and I hope she feels better gradually.
I have no problems with you migrating, I know it is a personal choice. But very often, when we choose to do something, we don't think about how our parents will feel. All parents are the same, even if their children commit a grave mistake, they will still love their children. They always have the sense of guilt towards their children, like, I brought my child to this world, so I have to give him or her the best. However when your kids grow up, get married, have children,begin to move out of the house, start to migrate without you or agree with their spouse more than listening to what you have to say, can you say,' No you can't migrate! ' or 'If you want to, bring me with you'. ?
I don't think you will bear to tell that to your children right?
So in my opinion, at the very least what these children can do is to spend more time with their parents. No matter how busy they are.
But, they went back to NZ on the first of January.
When it was close to Chinese New Year, my grandma bought so much food in her fridge thinking that they will be back for reunion dinner. What she didn't remember was, they went back to their ang moh country already, and we won't know when they will be back again. Who knows? She may have forgotten all about them when the time comes.
